What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
