Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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