i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize