Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
