My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
