Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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