let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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