my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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