Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
