Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
