Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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