Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
