There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
