Christians are straight up FREAKS
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
