real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
