Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
