you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
