yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
