Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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