I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
