I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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