90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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