Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
