you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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