Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
