When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize