Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The air was thick with penises
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
