This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
