I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
