It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
