Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
God I need to hump something, right now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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