He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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