I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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