I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize