I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I love you. Go after that dick
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize