Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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