that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
