Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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