What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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