she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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