i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
