I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
