i think my tv is drunk
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
