I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize