im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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