I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
