i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
