I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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