this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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