its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
