At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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