I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
