i may or may not be watching the land before time
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
