im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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