i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
