You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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