I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't deserve a penis
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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