we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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