I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
