she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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