she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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