They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm too high and old for this...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize