She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
