remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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