I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
